What Should Have Been

Today we should have woken up in Stratford-upon-Avon. We should have enjoyed a leisurely hotel breakfast, donned our pretty frocks and smart suits, and made our way to the charming, timbered register office adjacent to Shakespeare’s birthplace. Today should have been filled with happiness and the making of memories. Friday 29th May 2020 should have been my daughter’s wedding day.

She and her partner, and the close friends and family members who were to attend are not alone in their disappointment. So many celebrations have been cancelled or postponed over the past ten weeks: my daughter in law’s 40th birthday weekend in York, the merriment which would surely have surrounded my friend’s 70th birthday, the many planned holidays that can no longer be looked forward to.

But looking forward is exactly what we must do. Dwelling on what has, and is still, happening does our emotional mindset no good whatsoever. Some of us will have shed the odd tear (I surely can’t be the only one) as we miss loved ones, see the devastating reports on the news and wonder how it’s all going to end. But now it’s time to look forward to seeing family, meeting friends and re-arranging those celebrations, even if expectation has to be tempered. We are now going to be able to meet in small groups, albeit still socially distancing, and with the excellent weather experienced by much of Britain at present, what could be more welcome than a simple chat in the garden with someone that we care about.

The photos are from last year but I’m looking forward to much the same this year. The sweet peas are full of promise – already looking as if they’ll reward us with a better display than in recent years, the tomato plants grown from seed are looking strong and healthy and we’ve already eaten the first of the radish.  The Mexican orange blossom is looking its best ever, and since clearing an overgrown and straggly honeysuckle out of its way, the white rambling rose has seized greedily upon the extra light available and is laden with buds.

As we say at Slimming World, let’s pull on those positive pants!




  1. I’m so sorry to hear about your daughter’s wedding but I love your positive attitude. Sometimes it’s very challenging to maintain any optimism at all and the strangest things can set me off crying these days. However, I love the image of ‘positive pants’ and will remember to put mine on whenever I feel a bit down, despite knowing that I have so much for which I should be grateful.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. So many lovely celebrations cancelled and so many plans having to be re-made, but it’s the people who have had to hold such lonely funerals that I feel the most for. This just cannot be re-arranged can it 😦

    But yes we really do have to keep making an effort to put on our ‘positive pants’ each morning don’t we, although I find it’s getting harder and harder as I explain each time I phone my Mum why I still can’t come round.

    I’m in Wales and she’s in England so it’s completely different rules, but she thinks I’m just being ‘funny’ . Oh it’s SO not funny!!


    • You are absolutely right; the thought of those lonely funerals is heartbreaking. I hope you get to see your mum very soon.


  3. I like the idea of positive pants : ) It reminds me of when I bought some underwear with a picture of Wonder Woman on for my friend who was going through a very difficult time.
    I hope your daughter and partner are able to rearrange their special day without too much difficulty. A more intimate occasion sounds perfect and it makes me wonder if this will become more the norm now, rather than the larger and more elaborate celebrations. X

    Liked by 1 person

    • Certainly a less expensive option, Jules! They preferred to spend their cash on a fabulous holiday in Canada…..which has also been cancelled. A friend who buys Wonder Woman underwear sounds just the right kind of positive friend to have!


  4. Looking at your plants and thinking of how they will bloom again, is such a beautiful reminder from Mother Nature that life goes on. And so wonderful that you and your family and friends are safe. I truly cannot imagine what it must be like for everyone in Europe and Britain. I am so grateful to be living in Godzone (what we kiwis called New Zealand)

    Liked by 1 person

    • Those I have known who have visited New Zealand have said it’s a very beautiful country so I can understand the term Godzone. Yes, life does go on and although we’re going through a very difficult time we must remember that after the rain there will be sunshine.


  5. I’m sorry that the plans that had been made so eagerly have had to be postponed or canceled. But, hopefully, they will still take place in the future. In the meantime, look for the positives as you have been doing and count your blessings. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thank you, Bless. It’s not always easy but yes, we have to find positives. And it’s great to still have it to look forward to!


  6. My coworker was due to marry on July 4th but gatherings will still not be permitted. So she is having a civil ceremony on the 24th of June and has booked her reception for 24 June 2021 as a first wedding anniversary part.

    Marriage is more than the reception as many seem to be realizing.

    Liked by 1 person

    • I’ve long said that weddings should be about being married, not the party. That said, I do enjoy a a fabulous reception! Daughter’s wedding was to have been 24 of us, followed by a meal at a lovely pub-restaurant.


  7. Yes, I think we all have to look on the bright side of life, as Monty Python and his team sang. Your daughter still have her lovely partner, birthday celebrations are lovely but they are just a date on the calendar and you can have celebrations later in the year when there is less risk to health, also holidays … the places you intended to visit will still be there, and let’s hope that when you do visit, the sun will shine. In the meantime, stay well.
    Margaret P

    Liked by 1 person

    • Absolutely right, Margaret……. Positive comments! We’ve been talking today about places we’d like to visit. Too often we say that we’d like to ‘one day’ and then forget about them. A list is in the making.


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