A little something that has always made me smile. I hope that you will enjoy it too.
ELEMENT: Woman
OCCURRENCE: Copious quantities in all urban areas with trace elements in most others.
PHYSICAL PROPERTIES
- Surface is often covered in powdery painted film
- Boils at nothing; freezes for no reason
- Melts if given special treatment
- Bitter if incorrectly used
- Found in varying grades from virginal state to common ‘ore
- Yields to pressure applied gently to selected points
CHEMICAL PROPERTIES
- Has great affinity with gold, silver, platinum and precious stones
- Absorbs great quantities of expensive substances
- May explode spontaneously without warning or reason
- Softens and takes on a rosy glow when immersed in hot water
- Most powerful money reducing agent known to man
COMMON USES
- Highly ornamental – especially in sports car
- Can be a great aid to relaxation
TESTS
- Pure specimen turns bright red when discovered in natural state
- Turns green when placed next to a better specimen
HAZARDS
- Highly dangerous in inexperienced hands
- Possession of more than one considered illegal
Very good. 😀
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Never heard this before, but it’s brilliant! It pokes gentle fun a womankind, I just love it! Maybe a similar Chemical Analysis should be done for Man?
Margaret P
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Ha ha…we’ll work on it together, Margaret! Indeed, it is gentle fun and I’ll bet we can all identify with at least some of it.
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I love this! Do you know where it came from originally? I’d love to share if that is okay with you.
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Hi June, no idea where it came from. It was doing the rounds at work in the early 2000s. Feel free to share.
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Thanks, Eloise
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